It says tourist: DON'TS

DON'TS

Here are a few simple rules to live by while you're on the road.

Don't get a tattoo

Do you know what that tribal smear in the small of your loopy cousin Hilde's back means? The one she got in Bangkok, thinking it's the Thai symbol for unity? It says Tourist, in italic. However tempting it might seem to get a tattoo by the beach bar from the guy who also mixed your drink a few minutes ago, give yourself a day or two to think about it. By then, you'll be someplace else.

Don't feed the monkeys

I have one word for you: rabies.

Don't feed the kids

You wouldn't hand out sweets to strangers' kids at home. So why start when you're abroad? Don't let your legacy as a backpacker be that you turned an innocent group of children into beggars, doomed to roam the countryside in search of other tourists who can still their hunger for strawberry-flavoured Mentos.

Don't depend on the guidebook

While Lonely Planet or Rough Guide offer interesting reading when you're preparing your trip, you should put them away as soon as you reach your destination. Follow your gut, especially when you're choosing a hotel or restaurant. A lot of the writer's picks in your guidebook will be flooded with other tourists and more expensive than the lesser-known options.

Don't order pizza

Apart from the fact that you should fully explore the local food culture (“Goat balls? Are they fresh?”), there's something about eating pizza in the tropics that's just wrong. Occasionally I've succumbed to the lure of the disk, but there was always some key ingredient missing. Sometimes it was salt, other times it was love. I guess pizza tastes best in the comfort of your own couch.

Don't forget you're white

For a Caucasian male like myself, traveling through the tropics, it's easy to get caught up in the carelessness of it all and not worry too much if you left the sunscreen in the hotel room. Bam! Next thing you know, you look like an extra on Jersey shore. Stay out of the sun, kids! You don't want to end up comparing tan-lines with The Situation.

Don't drink prune juice

Especially if you've just finished a bowl of fish head noodle soup. No one can locate a bathroom that quick.

Don't listen to me

What do I know? It's your trip. Make the best of it.


3 comments:

  1. Regarding tattoos, Australians are actively discouraged from getting them overseas as there have been a few cases of HIV being contracted. Here's a recent instance where someone got more than they bargained for from a tattoo in Bali. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-12-24/australians-warned-after-bali-hiv-tattoo/3746330

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  2. Yet another good reason to give them a miss. Thanks, Michael!

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  3. Scary story! So glad we didn't get those matching seashell love heart tattoos, Hans :)

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